By: Laurice
This memory of mine is still so fresh in my brain as if it only happened yesterday when in fact, it happened 2 years ago around the month of September. During that day, I felt a huge weight being lifted off my chest. It felt as if I was free from my very own hell. Kuya Jello, the Campus Missionary (CM) who was speaking that time, was the one who led the "altar call". Altar call is where the speaker would ask the students if they are willing to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. Now, by surrendering, it doesn't mean that y raise actually use yourself as an offering to Him and do weird rituals and stuff. It's not that, but rather, entrusting yourself to God and letting him lead your way. As you take this first step, you'll finally have yourself a relationship with God.
It took me about 2 months for me to actually raise my hand in that call. I was always held back by my shyness and worry what will happen to me if I take such step. When I did such decision, everything changed in a snap within me. I felt so happy as if I actually found a home aside from my own, as if my soul just got pulled away from its own cage of darkness. Of course, life itself didn't change much. Stress is still there, pressure is still there, depressing days are still there. Surrendering yourself does not mean it will take you to another universe. Surrendering yourself does not mean it will take you to another universe. Nonetheless, having the fact that there is a God who got your back, who's powerful enough to overcome anything, what's there to worry about?
I have already known what is right and wrong, but I hardly applied it in my everyday life. Doing such decision instantly came up to me. I used to copy my classmate's answers in our seat works in Mathematics a lot since I don't understand a single thing in Geometry and Statistics, but then when I took that step I pushed myself to actually understand it. Eventually, I did and was able to answer problems using my own head and not another person's. Foul words used to be my my Mother Tongue but now it significantly lessened compared to how I used to before. One of my special talents was to form up lies on the spot to my Mother but now I couldn't even say a single lie to her, sometimes. In our Church, we use the word "conviction" instead of "conscience". Whenever I am tempted to commit sin, I felt like I could actually hear God in my head preventing me to do such thing. It might be weird, but it's actually true. I saw myself change in those 2 years. From praying to take my life to thanking Him for not listening to me. I used to cry due to my personal problems now it's converted into tears of joy for being able to receive such love.
I can't imagine myself not taking such decision, if so, I would still be that person who cheats, exhales foul words off my mouth, and does wrong things without a single thought. I wouldn't be willingly serve Him at my Church and have this undying desire to know Him more. If I were to do it again, I would really push myself to do it and tell myself, "Don't be shy, this i the best thing you'll ever do. Good things will come to you. He will be right behind you, waiting for you to come home."
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