The fiery tip of my cigarette is the only thing that lights up my surrounding right now. You know when we are living in a dark and sad world when some people chose to buy happiness at the price of their own mortality. Cigarette has been the very companion I have at miserable times. It's the only thing I can count on when everything seems to be falling apart around me. As soon as the smoke settles in inside my chest every pain and misery seems to disappear for a moment in time. The relief that it gives me is just satisfying and deeply easing to my weary mind. The ephemeral ease is just enough to make me last all day. It's hard to live this kind of lifestyle when I'm dependent on one thing to make myself stable. It's like a
torture that I have to go trough such self-destructing lifestyle. I know that there comes a point in time where I have to give up this addiction that I have, but who knows when. Maybe when my body is already half dead or maybe when I'm already six feet underground. A genuine help from a kind soul is all I ask. I can't fight this battle on my own. I can't fight this battle with my very own mind.
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